Dear Robin: Your devilish humour is devastating me, sir. Here's my naughtiest moment... During the 1990s I frequently visited China for business purposes. I met a German man/wife in the bar one evening at a very luxurious/famed hotel in Guangzhou called The White Swan. He spoke English, she didn't. I speak reasonable German and asked the lady (Teresa) if she had learned any Chinese language. No. Nein. I suggested that it would be cool for her to learn a few words to impress her family/friends back in Deutschland, and she agreed, so I taught Teresa how to say "Guten Morgen" (wang bak dan) and "How are you?" (pook gai) in Cantonese. The following morning, with a big smile, she informed various hotel staff members that they were stupid assholes, and told them all to fuck off. Total chaos. Poor Teresa was in tears, the hotel's GM demanded an explanation, and I was summarily given 15 minutes to pack my bags and leave. Barred forever. Nick McGeachin, San Francisco, CA, USA.

This message was edited on 04:16 21/Sep/08

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